I don't know what to do with The Boss. Literally and figuratively. Any which way you look at it, smell it, taste it, hear it or touch it, I do not know what to do. So I improvise. I read to her, a lot. I know I can do that much. We read Dr. Suess after Sesame Street after Happy Baby board book, because books don't cause tantrums. Then we read the "I Love My Daddy" book and my mind wanders to The Partner at work, who's probably right now thinking he has it so tough. Thinking I do nothing at home but shirk laundry duty and post to my blog. Thinking The Boss watches too much TV. Eventually we leave the book case in favor of the open road. I strap her into her car seat and slink in front of the steering wheel. Since making eye contact only serves to rile the beast, I look ahead. I consult the rear view mirror in a traffic assessment, but I dare not even glance at The Boss. I know from experience that her mannerisms will be calm, her gaze all-seeing. Sometimes she fold...
i so want to hang out w/ you.
ReplyDeleteDid you hear about the Polish man that locked his keys in his car?
ReplyDeleteHe had to use a coat hanger to get his family out.
Im polish! Don't anyone get mad!
A Polish man was suffering from constipation, so his doctor prescribed suppositories. A week later the Pole complained to the doctor that they didn't produce the desired results.
ReplyDelete"Have you been taking them regularly?" the doctor asked.
"What do you think I've been doing," the Pole said, "Shoving them up my ass?"
What jen said.
ReplyDeleteSo I'm putting in a request for some drunk blogging. Is funny.
ReplyDeleteIrish/Pole here too. Drunk and stupid too. But not now. Which is unfortunate.
ReplyDeleteNow you've got me wondering what you would write if I left a bottle of tequila on your doorstep.
ReplyDeleteBinky, we have to meet.
ReplyDeleteThink of the fun we would have. I'm Polish too.
My grandpappy was an alcoholic german pole.
Know what that means?
He was a mean stupid drunk.
Snicker.
Sad, but unfortunately very true.
However, I'm just a happy stupid drunk. Who has inappropriate frisky tendencies while drinking...
Why don't you scooch a little closer?
You've inspired me to post a joke today! :)
ReplyDeleteIt is hilarious because its true!
ReplyDeleteyes, and yes. :-)
ReplyDeleteand me too!
what's even funnier - i'm dating a ukrainian at the moment - so we drink a lot of vodka - i have some fun stories to share with you soon!